Bitterness and a Fiery Disposition

"Mirae... Mirae..." I hear a voice in the distance calling my name yet I can't answer. The suppressive darkness starts to fall apart and pieces of light start coming together, like bits of a puzzle. I feel strong arms holding my burdensome frame. Warm. Safe. Joy. All of a sudden, the heaviness flies from my eyes and strong, bright light momentarily blinds me. Blink-blink. It's all white, with not a hint of greens, flowers or fields in sight. Ah, that was a dream? I thought.

"Mirae? Mirae! Thank God you're awake, for a moment there..." someone's worried husky voice fills my head and I'm snatched into an embrace that almost chokes me. I almost loose consciousness again when I am pulled away again. Who's the fool who's trying to kill me?? I screamed in my head. Looking up, I see clear green eyes that reminded me of summer grass, a beautifully sculpted face, that jawline I knew so well. SNAP. A whip-like sound goes off in my head. No, no. Must not get pulled in. Must not get pulled in. Fool.


"I was so worried. So, so worried. Are you ok?.." There he goes again; off on a verbal rampage that would give a headache to the most staunch of people. With what little strength I had left, I pushed him away. Scooted as far as I could on the cold hard floor of... the Orion, I think it was. "Ah!" I screamed out in pain, the after-effects of whatever poison had entered my system was making a vicious attack on the left side of my head. Curling up on the floor, I felt those strong arms around me again. "No!" propelled by the pain echoing through my system, I pushed him away. His shocked and hurt beautiful green eyes were the last thing I remember before everything disappeared.

Copyright.

Non-entity

"I'll never leave you again...ever, ever again~"
The melodious voice plays in the background while rain shatters against the window. Kaora stares over the dull landscape as the silent tears run down her bloodied cheeks. The drying metallic-like blood caked on her tunic wafted around her as the chains clamped down on Kaora's fragile wrists. The bell outside rings endlessly to give fair warning of The Event. "Come hither, come hither," it seemed to say, gathering a crowd, sadistically waiting for the end of yet another non-entity.





Copyright © Nix

random..

ohh~
i'm bout done with you~
you make everything an issue
and when you look around
and i'm not bound
to ur side~
everything's wrong

oh~
leme make it clear to you
i'm not yours. to own
no~
i'm yours to love
so~
dont be thinkin ur above - me
tht you're juz tryna protect - me

u treat me like ur possession
even given me no room to breathe

should i . . .

endlessly write til my mind grows numb?



From This Room Within

I stare at my computer screen. Unable to move, unable to care about the first wisps of a lingering stench. Clean, crumpled clothes at the foot of a messy bed silently beg to be folded, hung and cared for, but lay cowering and limp instead. My glazed over eyes care not anymore; not for myself, for my room, nor for the world, as I lay there, occasionally eating ramen to appease the growling demon that awakes every so often.

As I swing my feet out of bed, I notice a part of the bed has sunk. Unable to take the everyday load that I am.The laminated floor had given up on even seeing daylight as books of every genre lay lifeless on the floor; calculators, sellotape, empty bottles of water and lucozade. Ah, the bags I was debating about...now both half empty and tired.

I'm told that these four walls have bound me to them. But if I like staying secluded, messy, relaxed, with not a care in the world, then does that mean I've bound the four walls to me?

Check out my new AVON eBrochure!

To be continued . . . .

Selfish desires eat me alive 

while I'm thrown into the vicious storm

all the while fighting a war with myself

old post

All those who have entered my life are not forgotten. Each and every passing day spent with all of you out there have been a true blessing to me.

I miss the days when all i had to think about was my homework.

When I had after-school activities.

When I thought detention was Hell, so i tried to be good to avoid it.

When T'chers told u to read ur mothertongue book on Friday (nd i read Harry Potter that one time....MAN i hated picking up the rubbish!! -_-").

i miss lounging at the Pasir Ris Bus Interchange with a large fizzy drink and chatting a lot of shit with a WHOLE group of you.... and those other times we just chilled in the corners of tht interchange in our uniforms. lol

I miss the library in White Sands.....where we bought ridiculously expensive wedges just so we could hang out a little bit longer.

i miss spending most of my money in tht library cafe......lol

i miss the times we creeped around the library, looking for romance books. (i have a vivid picture of Dayah in my head, when we were in some secluded part of the library flicking through books. lol)

i miss the sushi from the basement supermarket.....cold storage???? or something else.....i duno lah....

i miss the long and odious maths lessons and the naughty nicknames we gave to Ms.....Lohan? oh crap, i only remember in Sec 2 we nicknamed her Lohan.....the fish?? with tht forhead......she was sweet, although she was much more immersed in solving the mathematics on the board than actually noticing us.......behind her.

the Science lesson, when we finally reached Chapter 7......Sexual Reproduction.

The noise the boys made when we did.

I Miss Coral Secondary school and the excitement I felt every morning at the start of a new day.

I miss the feeling of starting A levels. the love i finally felt at solving a calculus equation (YAYE!!!

i miss the HUGE class in 1st year A levels.

and i was thankful for the Little classes in A2 (2nd year).....

and the stupid things people said, did, or WORE in the downstairs "Study Room". i seem to remember a guy wearing a bright yellow t-shirt with a Plate, and a fork and spoon on either side, with a blue outline-picture of a cat in the middle of the plate, and the words below:
Eat Pussy.

and the furore that caused wherever he went. LOL.

I remember proving that "a lot" was 2 words. Not one, as in: alot. even opening up MS Word and spelling it. (lol....)

i remember the stuffy biology room in the summer and the closed in feeling i used to get in AS.....during classes. which Mr Rothery more than made up with his amusing........musings while teaching. LOL.

I remember the small, bespectacled malaysian-chinese guy in tht class and how he never spoke to anybody. T_T

i missed it when there were only 12 (or 11??) of us in the class and we went on a 5 day "trip" of a lifetime.(Mr Ellis is THE BEST TEACHER EVER!!!)

i miss the things we did during those tiring, but well-worth-it days. and the movies we watched. the camp-fire. the COLD. the "snow" the trees. the grass. the measuring. the statistics. the pain of trying to prove that the NULL hypothesis was wrong and there WAS a difference of the height of watever- it-was-that-i-was-measuring in the shaded areas and the sunlit areas.

i miss those uncomfortable (and COLD) wellingtons.

i miss us lot taking a measurement of sunlight as a reference value.

i miss those yucky snails we had to catch for our first task.

I miss the silly things we used to do in the "Study Room" after school.

I miss trying to outsmart the school system and going on websites tht were..........(not) connected to our education....or our coursework.

I miss the jokes we made in Biology....

i miss the birthdays we had in tht class and the fact that i had to sing for the birthday person every time there was a birthday.

i miss ALL MY MOMENTS IN UNI......which i will write about next time coz i'm too tired thinking.... T_T

Most of all

I miss the all Teachers/ Lecturers who inspired me and lead me along my merry way. Thank you all for coming into my life and Blessing Me. xoxo